The Girls are Fighting
The Problem with Calling Narcissistic Meltdowns “Girl Fights”
I can’t remember the last time I spent so much time on Twitter…and laughing, no less. (Yes, I know it’s actually “X” but the last time I actually scrolled on the platform it was still called Twitter!)
But Thursday I did, and I was rolling. At least we can all, collectively, have a good laugh as the country is being torn apart by fascism. The memes were writing themselves and I cannot get over this one.
As per usual, everyone was looking for the hot takes. Podcasts were dropping special episodes, social media statements were made, and reporters lined up around various capital buildings ready to ask questions and opinions of any congressperson who walked by.
There were a variety of takes and thoughts. But the one that stuck out to me the most was from Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez (AOC). When asked her thoughts about the Trump-Musk back and forth, she said “the girls are fighting today…” and continued on to wherever she was headed.
This sentiment was echoed by several other content creators and memes. I know it was meant to be funny. But I think it also sheds light on deeply embedded patriarchal rhetoric.
Comparing two narcissistic men having a public meltdown—both of whom hold immense power and capacity to destroy—to “fighting girls” only furthers the narrative of not taking women seriously. Especially women showing any kind of emotion.
I do want to note that in some cases, when someone says the phrase, “The girls are fighting” they are referring to the definition that comes from Black queer vernacular, especially ballroom culture, where it was used playfully and dramatically to comment on conflict. It’s now mainstream — but rooted in the genius, survival, and performance of Black LGBTQ+ communities. I want to hold this reality with the reality that emotional men are often compared to women and girls is misogynistic and derogatory (which is how I am analyzing the phrase for this post). Multiple truths can co-exist.