Valentine’s Day in Purity Culture
How Bachelor Star Madison Prewett’s Take on Purity Culture Perpetuates Shame and Glorifies Abuse by Calling it Love
The “For You Page” on social media platforms is weird. Sometimes they seem to know us in a spooky-well way. And other times, I am left wondering what, in their metric system, decided I would resonate with a specific meme or video.
That’s how I found a reel of Madison (Madi) Prewett talking about why purity matters (hint: she says it’s because the Bible says “blessed are the pure in heart”...but leaves out the “for they shall inherent the earth” part. Should we be shocked? She is, afterall, the wife of a billionaire’s son!)
I guess Instagram was right…that video did pull me in and I found myself scrolling through her most recent posts. …And then I found her “POV: Valentines Day When You’re Single” post. After reading the caption I found myself both sad and angry–because those were the things I truly believed when I was in the thick of my purity culture days and I hate to see that they are not only still being preached but that they are being repackaged to look aesthetically pleasing and draw people into the messages.
As y’all know, I watch the Bachelor franchise shows. Four years ago we were introduced to Madison (Madi) Prewett–a sweet, Southern, Christian girl whom the bachelor (Peter Webber) fell head over heels for. At the time of filming, Madi was 23 years old; she was sad and confused as to why God hadn’t brought her a future husband yet–she was the only single one left in her group of friends. Tale as old as time in Purity Culture and the South. So she thought that at the very least, going on the Bachelor might be a platform to share her faith.
Despite the bachelor not identifying as religious, and in fact was more well known for having sex in a windmill four times in a night when he was a contestant on the Bachelorette, he fell in love with Madi. Madi, the squeaky clean virgin who gave him an ultimatum before the overnight dates. Ultimately, Peter failed at what Madi was asking him to do and Madi left on her own.
When she left, I recognized the look she had on her face and the way she walked. It was the look of being proud of herself for standing by her convictions and moreover, going against the expectations of the world and the desires of her flesh and choosing the better way…the path to Jesus. I wore that look many times myself–though I see it now as mostly self-righteous.
After the Bachelor season wrapped airing in March 2020, Madi began preaching her messages of being single, desiring to remain pure, and praying for her future husband to her over one million followers on Instagram (which she had gained, not shockingly, from the Bachelor).
She lamented that her plans had gone awry. She shared about her struggles with purity–including the mistakes she thought she had made and how she was changing. And she preached that the only way to fix all of this was to fall deeper and deeper in love with Jesus.
Madi has continued to make waves; she’s now a clothing designer, influencer, a pastor-type, a wife, and now an expert on marriage, purity, and true love waiting. She regularly makes the rounds on big Christian podcasts, makes TikToks about her relationship with her husband and God, and is the author of two best selling Christian self-help books.
As I reflect, Madi is living the life I dreamed I would have when I was 20 years old. She prayed for her future husband, lived a pure life, is doing full time ministry and has a heart for all the other “older” single women who are becoming spinsters at the age of 25.
That’s the life I used to want. But now, at 41, that life sounds terrifying.