Why Didn't You Just Leave?
How Gypsy Rose Blanchard's Relationship with Her Mother is not Unlike Being in a High Control Religion
“Why didn’t you just leave?”
That’s a question I’ve received a lot–many of us have received a lot–when people wonder why we didn’t just leave the high control religion, the cult, the abusive relationship, or the toxic patterns of relating. I believe that’s the wrong question to ask (and usually shows a person’s ignorance of the dynamics of power and control inside high control religions, relationships, and systems) –and yet, it’s the first thing that most people ask when sitting in front of someone who is telling their story of escape.
It’s also the question that an off-air producer asks Gypsy Rose Blanchard in the newly released documentary The Prison Confessions of Gypsy Rose Blanchard, on Lifetime.
Though I certainly do not believe what happened to Gypsy Rose is apples to apples with individuals who experienced harm, abuse, and trauma from high control religions and cults, it does strike me that the dynamics at play are quite significant.
Emotional abuse. Psychological abuse. Sometimes physical abuse. Verbal insults, manipulation, and coercion. An external locus of control. Presenting a specific way externally despite falling a part internally.
As I watched Gypsy’s interview and listened to her on interviews, there was a familiarity I felt–feeling trapped and beholden to the people in authority around you…overt abuse and psychological control happening and no one willing to call it out.
I believe survivors of high control religions, systems, relationships, and cults, have much in common with Gypsy Rose.